Let’s Talk Poo:
It’s OK for Children to Have Soiled Accidents
Toileting is a normal part of early childhood development, and so are accidents. While it can sometimes feel frustrating or worrying for parents, soiled accidents are a very common stage of learning and are nothing to be embarrassed about.
At our provision, we believe in talking openly and calmly about toileting, helping children build confidence and reducing any anxiety around using the toilet.
Why Accidents Happen
Children are still developing control over their bladder and bowel muscles during the early years. This means that even when they are making progress with toilet training, accidents can still happen.
Soiled accidents may occur because:
- Children are still learning to recognise the “feeling” that they need the toilet
- They may be deeply engaged in play and not notice the urge in time
- They are still developing communication skills to tell an adult quickly
- Their routine may have changed (for example, at home or nursery transitions)
- They may be feeling emotional changes such as excitement, anxiety, or tiredness
Accidents are part of the learning process, not a sign that something is wrong.
Bowel Control Takes Time
It is important to understand that bowel control often takes longer to develop than bladder control. Some children may be dry for long periods but still have occasional soiled accidents while they are learning to recognise the signs their body is giving them.
This is completely normal in the early years.
How We Respond at Our Provision
We support children in a calm, respectful, and reassuring way. If an accident happens, staff will:
- Reassure the child and keep language neutral and positive
- Support them with cleaning and changing in a discreet way
- Encourage independence where appropriate (such as pulling up clothing)
- Dispose of soiled clothing safely and hygienically
- Communicate with parents so we can work together
We never shame or punish children for accidents. Our focus is always on supporting learning and maintaining dignity.
How You Can Help at Home
Consistency between home and our provision can really support your child. You can help by:
- Keeping language simple and positive (e.g., “Let’s try the toilet”)
- Not making a big reaction to accidents
- Encouraging regular toilet routines (after meals, before bed, etc.)
- Dressing children in clothes that are easy to manage independently
- Reassuring your child that accidents are normal and part of learning
Emotional Side of Accidents
Children are often more aware of accidents than adults think. Some may feel embarrassed, upset, or worried about disappointing adults.
It is important to reassure your child that:
- Accidents happen to everyone when they are learning
- They are not in trouble
- They are still learning a new skill
- Adults are there to help them
A calm and supportive response builds confidence and helps children move forward more quickly.
When to Seek Advice
Most soiling accidents are a normal part of development. However, if accidents are frequent, persistent, or accompanied by discomfort, constipation, or pain, it may be helpful to speak with your health visitor or GP.
We Are Here to Support You
Toilet learning is a journey, and every child moves through it at their own pace. At our provision, we work closely with families to support children with patience, consistency, and care.
Talking about poo openly and calmly helps children feel confident and removes any unnecessary stress or shame. With the right support, most children grow out of accidents in their own time.
